Midlife & the mental health challenges women are facing
Menopause and the mental health crisis of the Sandwich Generation, how women are facing these hidden challenges more and more during their midlife.
Inevitably, especially if you had children in later life, you will find yourself navigating the opposing needs of pre-teens, teens alongside those of elderly parents.
Add to this the pressures of maintaining the leading edge in your career, running your own business or holding down multiple part time jobs, whilst navigating unknown shifts in the financial and geo-political landscapes, and then for female bodies – throw in an additional sprinkle of hormonal upheaval and unpredictable physical and mental changes that is the menopause transition.
( Which seemingly noone has been able to prepare you for, no matter how many podcasts you have listened to or self-help books you have read!).
And I haven’t even mentioned intimate relationships, either maintaining a partnership or maybe even finding time and energy to date and initiate a new relationship.
All this is before you’ve done the weekly shop, the laundry and walked the dog!
So here you have the the perfect recipe for a the Sandwich Generation and the hidden mental health crisis that is affecting so many ordinary women during this important transition period of their lives.
Most women will go through menopause, and it can be a life-changing event, whether they take HRT or not – Christine Langley, Cognitive Neuroscientist.
Post-menopausal women were more likely than those pre-menopause to have sought help from their GP or a psychiatrist for anxiety, nerves or depression, and to score more highly on questionnaires for symptoms of depression. Similarly, they were more likely to have been prescribed antidepressants.
Menopause – Are we blooming into Second Spring or coping with hidden survival strategies?
Reading the article below by Eleanor Hayward on how more and more women are suffering from mental health crisis during menopause inspired me to reflect more deeply upon my own experiences.
I have been hesitant about joining the menopause conversation on Social Media, as there is already SO much dialogue and content happening about this (which, ironically, can be overwhelming in itself!) but as a mental health professional and a woman moving through the menopause transition, I feel moved to share my personal perspective.
The particular word in this article that touched and ignited me to talk and write more, was the word – HIDDEN. So often these pressures go unnamed. Juggling of all these balls and the balancing of all these different roles is expected and often remains unacknowledged, even to the woman herself.
The impact of hormonal changes can be both subtle and far-reaching simultaneously. We may not even get an articulate sense of our internal landscape changing, probably in part due to busyness and all likelihood due to the brain fog that can hijack and infiltrate our cognitive abilities.
The impact of carrying external pressures and additional workloads often remains invisible to the individual themselves. While obviously some men experience similar demands, the addition of hormonal shifts can intensify the stress of feeling over-stretched or compressed.
Frequently, these pressures and imbalances remain unidentified until something finally breaks: –
- Nervous ‘breakdown’
- Burnout
- Diagnosis of Anxiety
- Mental Health Meds for depression
- Requirement for time off work
- Sleeplessness / Insomnia
- Debilitating and random pains
Breaking Mental & Physical Health Taboos in Menopause
There is need for more dialogue and support around the physical, emotional, and cognitive changes women experience during menopause.
Even amongst my peers in the wellbeing communities snippets of conversation are shared here and there – but typically women are speaking of challenges already overcome; disclosing historical difficulties.
It is rare to find frank and open discussions about the day to day pressures as they are happening. It is as if still no one wants to ‘make a fuss’ or there is still shame embedded in the conversation around unexplained and unexpected changes that are happening in our bodies, especially if those changes are painful or debilitating.
If we don’t open up the conversation then the mental pressure that women find themselves under will remain a health crisis. It doesn’t have to be this way.
We are not alone – Guidance and Support Does Exist
It is important to remember that burnout, overwhelm & anxiety are not a prerequisite during the transition of menopause!
These symptoms have simply become more prolific and pronounced because our current culture does not give women the time to ‘do’ the menopause transition well.
If we were semi-retired, owned our homes, kids left, parents deceased. There would be time and resources to tend to the needs of our changing bodies; to give space to get to know our newly wired brains; to rest when needed; to rediscover ourselves anew.
Reclaming this Rite of Passage
But, our current culture does not naturally afford us this time and space and change of rhythm and so, we need to reclaim it for ourselves!
Thankfully now – there IS a lot more support out there. Slow political steps with a Menopause minister in the UK. The concept of Menopause Doulas are becoming more recognizable. For many of us – there simply is no blueprint passed down from our mothers’ generation, which makes the work of these “Wise” women so vital in guiding us through this stage in our lives, as a transformational rite of passage rather than a mental health challenge.
As a mental health practitioner, offering professional support, I feel I have a responsibility to be more explicit about the personal challenges that I face, as an ordinary woman. To put my hands up too – and say. I struggle too and IT’S OKAY!
We all experience the challenges of being a vulnerable human in its rich and multi-faceted form. We are not exempt just because we practice yoga or work in mental health. Kristin Weber from Subtle Yoga writes an interesting blog on her own experience of chronic illness and yoga teaching.
When we are stressed, we go into a survival response, we shut down what is not essential and wait for the threat to pass. In a sense we make ourselves smaller. This is an effective strategy term but it has its consequences when in place for too long. There’s a great video of this concept that I shared on IG
Somatic Self-Care Strategies to
Support Your Mental Health in Menopause
These are some simple practices and habits that I find really supportive, I hope you do too.
Letting the Dust Settle – Consciously inviting the threads of my scattered attention back into my body. With more of my attention in my physical body, there is literally more of me that is shouldering the responsibilities or pressures, and not just my mind.
Leaning into the Back Body – nestling into the support of a chair, the car seat or a wall. This gives us a body-felt experience of neutral support.
Making More Space – stretching, moving, expanding my own physical container (yoga, pilates dancing, strength training) spending a few moments putting my attention into more parts of our body – makes things feel less emotionally compressed.
Releasing the Charge of Anger and Frustration ( essential viewing for all menopausal women!) link to 3 min video
Talking with each other – We are not alone! Isolation adds to the pressure. Sometimes it IS “too much for one woman to hold on her own”. By sharing about how we are feeling, we don’t take anything away from each other, we just create a bigger container to lean into together. (take it in turns to talk and listen so that not one person feels over-burdened)
What is the antidote to contraction and freeze? Free and playful movement. Movement that feels good. Anything from inviting your feet to stretch out in their favourite socks to a full body dance-off in your kitchen. Even better, invite a friend over to muck-about with you. Check out Details of Village Hall Dance Spaces For Female Bodies
May we find our own rhythm,
May we respect our own capacity,
May we enjoy & celebrate our new found way of doing things.
These are just small steps that we as individuals can take day to day, but yes, the resolution of mental health crisis in menopause is part of a much broader conversation about how we view ‘productivity’, about our social expecations as human beings to permit ourselves to have different rhythms during the course of our lives and about of community building and resourcing – so that women don’t have to bear this journey alone.
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More Resources to Explore
Interviews
I love this one with Kate Codrington ( author of Second Spring) & Yogini Angela Farmer (aged 87! ) on aging and yoga and taking care of ourselves. (Angela and her partner Victor are two of my favourite teachers)
https://youtu.be/PlnhU-_OUPQ?si=CkznP6Tc7v5Bb0K4
Kristin Weber – Subtle Yoga https://subtleyoga.com/blog/
Articles
Books
The Menopause Brain – Dr Lisa Mosconi
Second Spring – Kate Codrington
The Ageless Brain – Dale Bresden
